20 Senryu (Call Center Series)
Andoy Castellano, 18 September 2006
Stepping out into the night
a virtual world of phone calls
the call center agent
wondering what to eat
lunch break at two in the morning
counting eating places
grinning TCPA [1]
after a hurried disclosure [2]
lang bang disposed [3]
"That is good to hear," agent says
about the latest high-end camera model
and clueless user
"Dispose!" coach shouts
agent jumps
woken from sleep
english as a common language
spanish-speaking agent
and italian caller
"Do you speak the Queen's English?"
"No sir, only the King's spanish"
the spanish-speaking agent
Energy drink
and then a cup of freshly-brewed coffee
palpitations, to the clinic!
at end of shift
walking straight to a lamp post
a bloody ear
sweater and shorts
alone at the office receiving calls
weekend day shift
fifteen minute break
hurrying out the office
for a nicotine fix
a glance and a wink
mic adjusted to eye-level [4]
another sale
talking rapidly
to hang-up phones
TCPA close [1]
talking slowly
to irate cardmember
DNC verbiage [5]
veteran agents
standing up like ostriches
ogling newbies
clients on the floor
jackets with hoods answering phones
freezing agents
"yes sir, you are free to complain
to the Better Business Bureau"
-- about the free software
5AM break
for irate female agent
a chocolate sundae
shaking head
agent quietly listens
another irate caller
complaining on break
"my ears hurt from listening to calls"
and increases iPod volume
Notes:
[1] TCPA, "Telemarketing Consumer Protection Act", an exit spiel where
the telemarketer has to state the toll-free number of the company he
represents whenever he makes a call and introduces himself by name or
the company he is representing; this verbiage is stated even if the
other person at the end of the line has hung up;
[2] Disclosure, recorded part of the telemarketing call where the
seller discloses the pertinent parts of the product or service being
sold, including a short summary of features and the cost;
[3] Lang Bang, a language barrier sale, where the buyer does not
understand english enough to know that he is buying a product or sale;
[4] some telemarketers change the mic volume, adjust the mic, or
otherwise slur their words so that the buyer would not understand some
parts of the script;
[5] DNC, short for "do not call", a list of phone numbers which a
telemarketer is not supposed to call; if the other person on the line
requests this (including the answering machine) the telemarketer is
supposed to add the phone number to the DNC list, and to read a DNC
script as well; this verbiage is stated even if the other person at
the end of the line has hung up;
---
This was first posted with Pinoy Poets groups.
--andoy
18 September 2006
